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ROLLING UP THE MATTRESSES
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Oh what a relief it is. The gang war is over. The Republicans have left
town and the demonstrations against them have subsided and happiness prevails.
The Republicans are happy with the success of the convention and the
demonstrators are happy with the success of the protest. The cops are happy about their
overtime and the lawyers are happy at the prospect of suing the cops. Over
the treatment of the protestors of course. Did they give them the Don King
treatment (he got a big welcome at the convention) or did they give them the
Rodney King treatment? Both sides will prove their cases beyond the shadow of a
doubt by introducing videotape of the actual incidents. This was the first
civic uproar in which the cops and protestors fought it out with camcorders at
ten paces rather than with nightsticks and empty bottles.
Leading the charge for the lawyers will be the National Lawyers Guild. They’
ve been fighting the U.S. government since 1933 and can be expected to be
still at it in 2033. This time they sent their troopers into battle wearing green
baseball caps and calling themselves “legal observers”. Their powers of
observation were a little special, though. Where everybody else thought they saw
an ex-con clubbing a cop to the ground and then kicking him wildly until
stopped, the Guild saw the cop provoking it by driving his bike into the crowd.
Somehow the TV crews missed this outrage and only filmed the cop getting his
ribs broken.
Since they only hurt one cop and didn’t burn down any buildings, the
protestors have been unanimously described as “peaceful” and “orderly” by the media.
The groups I saw on television chanting “F--- you!” at the delegates when
they passed the Garden fitted into that category, I guess.
One category into which they did fit was racial. They were overwhelmingly,
almost exclusively, white. And yet, and yet, they undoubtedly were
integrationists for the most part, multiculturalists, black liberationists, everything
progressive. They turned out for the Louima and Diallo rallies in New York and
probably for the Mumia ones in Philadelphia too. Why wasn’t this
reciprocated? Could it be that when going on a march it’s customary to go with one’s
friends and they haven’t got any black friends? How about black neighbors?
They don’t have any of them either. What about co-workers? Same answer.
Returning to the National Lawyers Guild, they have a long history of
pro-communist activity behind them, causing them to be listed as a “Communist front”
by the Attorney General of the United States. They remained a fixture on the
list until it was terminated by court order in 1954. Nobody ever doubted they
belonged on it. They had an unbroken record of supporting the Communists here
and abroad through every zig and zag of the party line right up to today.
They stood tall for the Rosenbergs, for the Viet Cong, against the first Gulf
War, and now for surrender in Iraq and, I suppose, for the restoration of Saddam
Hussein with an apology and punitive damages. But this stuff isn’t so
promising as their major offensive, the Immigration Project, aimed at flooding the
United States with millions of destitute immigrants, ready willing and able to
stage a communist revolution here, under Guild leadership of course.
Revolutions need bodies to carry out the dirty work, but they require brains to plan
it.
Their major weapon in this scheme is a lawbook weighing 4.75 pounds,
constantly updated and supplemented, called “Immigration Law and Crimes”. I had the
job of updating it while working in a law office in the 90’s. When I saw the
Guild imprint on it, I knew what to expect.
“Crimes” in the title is a misnomer. According to the book, no crimes are
committed by immigrants, but they frequently encounter frame-ups committed
against them by government agents, as well as misreading of regulations, mistaken
identities, abusive searches, insensitive decisions and the like. The “Crimes”
are actually one crime: the existence of the United States.
The introduction is a masterpiece of invective. I forget how many pages it
ran, but no Nuremberg indictment could have been more condemnatory. America
has never done anything right and never will and needs a total violent
revolution from stem to stern. The reasons are explained at length. The rest of the
book is a manual of legal tricks and swindles designed to enable foreigners to
defy the laws of the United States and remain here until the tocsin sounds for
the revolution to begin. The whole thing is outrageous, but one tip stands
out for sheer malignity (and contempt for legal ethics). It is to refuse even
to identify oneself to an immigration officer if he might use the information
to obtain your previous record of violations.
It’s disconcerting to find this in use in the office of an American lawyer,
bearing the brand of an American publisher, Clark, Boardman and Callahan. But
I wonder if even the Supreme Court would dare to make aspersions against it.
Clark, Boardman and Callahan, you see, is part of a publishing conglomerate,
the West Co. They publish the most important lawbooks in this country,
including a series of Supreme Court Reports. To keep the relationship between
themselves and the Supreme Court in good repair, they often entertain the Justices
on junkets to plush resorts with all expenses paid.
So much for the Lawyers Guild, or “Guilt” as the word was pronounced by the
members of the Boxing Managers Guild. With a strong government in charge in
this country, they cannot do much damage, and may in due time self-destruct.
They will leave some relicts (sic) behind, though. One is the ranking member
of the House Judiciary Committee, Representative John Conyers of Michigan. He
quietly lives up to all the strange ideals of the Guild, of which he used to
be a member.
I thought I had another left extremist in my sights when I returned to
studying my trove of giveaway advertising pencils whose message was, believe it or
not, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO AN ATTORNEY, and which bore the name of Carol A.
Maloney, obviously a candidate for some office or other. Aha, I thought, here is
Carol Maloney, Member of Congress for the 14th New York District, going over
the top by appealing to criminals for support. The world must know about
this. But it was not to be. Congresswoman Maloney is not a Carol A., but a
Carolyn B. Those thousands of pencils were not hers. They were somebody else’s,
somebody I couldn’t find in Google or AOL or elsewhere. Was she in jail maybe?
Had she forgotten her own advice? It seems we will never know.
I shouldn’t have thought so little of Carolyn Maloney as to believe she’d
stumble like this. Not that she isn’t left-wing enough. She’s a typical
member of the New York delegation, politically correct to the nth degree. It’s a
safe assumption that she supports prisoner’s Miranda rights without
reservation. In most cases, that is. Reading a couple of her press releases I find that
she’s an enthusiast for getting rapists off the streets and turning her eyes
to the problems of the rest of the world, she finds that Israel deserves full
support in building fences and rounding up Arabs at will, but always complying
with the guidelines of the U.S. Supreme Court. Always?
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