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The above is a title I’ve borrowed from Jeopardy, where some sets of questions aren’t confined to one subject but cover a miscellany. That suits me today. There are plenty of matters agitating the public, on none of which I have a whole lot to say but, heck, I seem to have run out of cop stories to use up my space, so I’ll just drift about and maybe by enumerating today’s hot topics I’ll find some inspiration enabling me to shed light on them.
What’s first? How about the oil gusher in the Gulf of Mexico? What about it? Sorry, nothing comes to mind.
What about the Iceland volcano? Anything volcanic, I’m the Titanic. I sink without a trace. Sorry again.
The Times Square bomber. Parked cars are trouble. I found out in 1976 when I was told by radio to protect one outside the Forest Hills Tennis Stadium until detectives arrived to examine it. There was a body inside . It was a woman, the first victim of Son of Sam. He went on ambushing lovers-lane couples until nailed in November 1977. Mayor Beame sent a case of champagne to police headquarters to help them celebrate.
Wall Street. I’ve said enough.
Obama. I get the feeling that a lot of Obama’s critics are waiting for a Claude Rains moment ending his career. You know, the one in “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington” where Claude tries to shoot himself in the Senate cloakroom all the while screaming “Expel me! Expel me!” after his fellow Senator, Jimmy Stewart, has survived Claude’s frameup and exposed his corruption.
I don’t think Obama will oblige. He’s in the White House to stay and he’s not giving it up to nobody. All the same, I’ve been thinking about his future and what he might do after he leaves. This could be in thirty-two or sixty-eight months, i.e., after one term or two. Sooner or later he’ll need a new occupation.
I have an idea. What about Africa? No, I don’t want to get rid of him. And yes, he’ll have his choice of jobs here if he stays. What I’m suggesting is that running a whole continent would be a bigger job than even the best available here. He’s the only one the Africans would offer such a job to. The people there would demand it. He’s the greatest black man of all time. He’s gone further than any who ever lived before him.
I see him as a kind of one-man Supreme Court there, charged with arbitrating all the quarrels between tribes and nations that obstruct progress toward modernity. His word, I believe, would be law, for some period of time anyway. It could very well be enough to save the Africans from themselves. They need this.
The African problem is that, having gotten rid of European colonialism, they’re succumbing to Asiatic…development. China in particular is deeply involved. The Chinese are building railroads, digging mines, and cultivating huge expanses of cropland. As for the Indians, also Asians, they’ve been in Africa for centuries, in every kind of business, and in fact constitute the business class of Africa.
None of these activities are unlawful or particularly harmful, even if they alter the environment. Alteration can be beneficial and has to happen in any case. The people of Africa are finding employment and are thankful for it.
The problem for the Africans lies in predicting the outcome of all this activity. Will the local people eventually learn enough from the outsiders to be able to take over the businesses themselves when the time comes, that is, when they have enough money to buy them out? It wouldn’t do for some Castro to arise and just seize foreign property. The Chinese response to this wouldn’t be any Bay of Pigs fiasco.
The worst nightmare for the Africans has to be the possibility of Chinese and Indian over-population leading to outright invasion, not just commercial penetration. Crowning Obama as Chief Justice of the Continent of Africa would be a good insurance policy against something like this. After all, the United States could be counted on to support a former President, couldn’t we?
Nobody can say I don’t look ahead.
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